Okay, before you write this off as “sour grapes” or something like that, stay with me for a bit. Maybe some fruit will come of it. Good dialog, and honest soul searching are rarely a bad thing
Recently, I spoke with a good friend in ministry, and he was not doing well, at all… like he was beyond critical mass and hemorrhaging. In fact I’ve had similar conversations with numerous men and their wives that are in a really bad place. Now, when I say a bad place, I don’t mean they’re having a bad week. I mean they are desperately depressed, angry, wounded, and even questioning what they believe about everything, including God. I hear stories of abuse, neglect, and trauma at the hands of the church that will likely take years with a skilled therapist and God’s healing touch to begin to let them see the world in the proper perspective again.
I also have discussions with coworkers that grew up in conservative, church going families that walked away from their upbringing and the church and began looking for fulfillment in every place they can think of, but are still desperately unhappy when it comes to the bigger picture. They got to a point in life where all of the things they believed in and lived for somehow came crashing down around them and they felt abandoned by the very institutions they had held so tightly to for years
When we hear terrible stories like these, it’s only natural to want to confront the abuser and call them out. Or maybe scoop these folks up and try to patch them up as best we can. However, these casualties we find littered across the battlefield of life don’t come with easy fixes and tidy resolutions. Battlefield injuries are rarely that way. Rather, these wounded are a mess, and to care for them requires us to get in the dirty trenches and fight alongside them for their survival. Much like the “never leave a man behind” motto of the US Marines, we have to be willing to risk the safety and comfort of our own lives to wade into the fray. But, this is where the breakdown often happens. As Christians, and as the American church in general, we often do not take that Marine motto to heart. Instead, we often leave the wounded crying for help. We do not see the church as a spiritual hospital, but rather a social club that we belong to because we like the free coffee and the ability to keep our kids busy and out of our hair during church.
Of course we do not say those things out loud. I mean, people would think we were unspiritual, right? We have become more concerned about people’s perceptions of who we are, and less concerned with letting people get to know who we really are. Why? I believe it’s for the same reason we leave those casualties on the battlefield… because being real is messy. We busy ourselves with “godly” things and activities, but often totally leave God out of the equation. What results is a “me”-centered church, which is not at all what we see as the example in the New Testament. When the church becomes me-centered instead of God-centered, there will always be problems.
I see church leaders, authors, and others in Christian circles wringing their hands in worry as people walk away from church, or just never returned after all that happened during Covid. The problem is, many of their conversations, writings, and meetings have nothing to do with being concerned with the spiritual well being of these folks. It might not be mentioned, but the underlying goal seems to be getting more people to come and give so that the church can keep the modern American church machine moving. Simply put, we run our churches like a business and treat the people like commodities or customers. This “Let’s roll” mentality leaves a deadly wake, one that we will ultimately answer to God for.
It is time to stop this insane trend and put our focus back on the people that Jesus gave His life for, instead of our elaborate buildings and programs. Maybe we need to go back to meeting in homes like the early church did. They did life together, and lives were changed. Wherever God leads us should be the key here. The mega church trend is just not sustainable. Our focus must change from the bottom line to the hurting and broken people God brings our way everyday.
Maybe the first step we need to make as churches is learning to say the words “I’m sorry, we were wrong.” I’m not sure I have ever seen a congregation say those words. Apologize to the pastor or staff member you fired for no real reason. Apologize to the generations of people we taught to be good little church members that followed the rules, but never taught to love people with the love of Christ, even when people get messy. Apologize to God for what we created and then demanded that He bless. It is amazing what a simple apology can do for someone that is hurting due to the actions of others. When we’re vulnerable with others, they often become vulnerable with us. Isn’t that the kind of people we need to be as followers of Jesus? That’s the kind of believers I need to be around, what about you?
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