I know what you’re thinking. “Not me, they NEED me…” However, maybe it’s time to step back and take stock of where your focus is. Where do you invest your time?
Like many of you reading this, I found what I thought was my calling during college. I felt like God was calling me into church ministry, and especially youth/college ministry. After working part time in a church for a while, a full-time job in a church came along, and off I went.
Over the next 23 years, there were ups and downs, and several different churches in different places. I became great at what I did. I’m not tooting my own horn, but after working that hard and that long, I was more than “proficient” at what I did. I became a professional, and I loved what I did. So much so that it really was the center of my life. So much so that it often became hard to separate my ministry from my actual walk with Christ. I knew that, but pressed on anyway.
I do not believe that anyone consciously thinks that they are too important to be replaced, but I’m pretty sure we all begin to live like that sometimes. We spend the majority of our time at work. Maybe you do not spend all of your time physically at work, but at least our mind is constantly on work. Thinking of ideas, innovating, and what about that construction project we’ve been put in charge of? I mean, it’s all super important, there’s no denying that. But how many times during these years do we do it at the expense of paying attention/spending real time with our kids, our spouse, or more often than not, our own health (physical, spiritual, and emotional). Again, I know what’s running through your mind… “Dude, I’ve heard all of this, it’s NOT happening to me.” Let me say respectfully, that is exactly where Satan wants you to be… in denial.
You see, there will come a time, sooner or later, when that job (ministry jobs too) will disappear. Live and work long enough and you will lose a job somehow. Maybe it is because of something you did wrong, or quite possibly it will be because of WHO you are. Yup, you may do everything right and still get fired/laid off/down-sized/etc., even in church work.
In the past year, I have seen this happen to two friends in ministry, both having been solid members of their staff for nearly 20 years. Both either forced out or simply fired without a good reason. If you’ve read my blog or know me, you know it happened to me last year as well.
Guess what? They replaced all of us with someone younger and less qualified, but the fact remains that they still replaced us. The churches went on, most letting you fade into memory as they did not see you as often, or at all. "It's not personal" they say, but that's a lie... It is VERY personal when you are the one in the middle of it!
Here’s where I get to the simple point of this writing. The point where you are forced to come to terms with the fact that you are not as important to the grand scheme of whatever your world has been built around as you believed you were. Maybe it’s church ministry, maybe it’s finance, or medical work. When you have to begin to work through the pain of being removed from what you felt was your “purpose,” it will be unlike anything you have experienced before. Proverbs 17:3 tells us:
3 "The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold,
but the Lord tests the heart."
Just like the refiner’s crucible, times like these help burn away our own thoughts, our own ideas, and the misconceptions about ourselves that maybe we have come to believe. It will burn away all of the nonsense, and it is often difficult to come to terms with what is left. You will probably find that you are not as solid and strong as you led yourself to believe. You may find out that many that you called "brothers" and "friends" are nowhere to be found now that your title has been removed. It is maddening, infuriating, and quite possibly exactly what you need. Just like the last part of that verse, maybe you need to see the true condition of your heart...the condition that God sees all the time. A condition that none of us like to think about. However, I have come to find out that there can be beauty in that process, it just takes time to develop.
Many people that you thought were friends will not be there for you. Many of whom you probably talked and worked with frequently. Church members, co-workers, even family members may fail to check on you. It is a hard truth. You see, they are caught up in the same life that you and I have lived every day until this point. Pretty sobering when we think about it. In the midst of this process, two beautiful things begin to happen. First, you are forced to cling to, talk to, and listen to the Lord. Second, you will find out who and what true friends are. They will call, they will sit and cry with you, they will mourn with you. This often small group, and one mighty God, will help you survive this terrible tornado of tragedy raging around you. Just hang onto them, and it will pass!
I think of the last part of the movie "Twister" as I write this. The two main characters survive a massive tornado by the skin of their teeth in a hair-raising moment of climax. When the storm passes, and they look at the devastation around them, they are astounded that they made it through. However, going through that together helped the two main characters come to terms with some things about themselves they had been ignoring.
Did the storm just start for you? Are you in the midst of the most horrific part of it right now? Has the worst of it passed? No matter where you are in the process, trust that God has you and will not let go, even in the midst of the devastation. Let Him work through those dear friends, through prayer, Scripture, and your family. What comes out on the other side will be better. I am still trusting through this process as well. I have to remind myself of the truth in Romans 8:38-39:
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