Ever turned the page in life, and discover that God is beginning a new chapter? Not just a small scene change, but something entirely different? Many friends have asked, so let me tell you about the new chapter that the Lord has opened in our lives.
For 23+ years, we have devoted our lives to service in church ministry. Youth ministry, college ministry, worship ministry, if it involves ministry at church, we've probably done at least some of it. While ministry can be very rewarding, it can also be brutal. Churches are not easy on pastors, and can be even worse to other staff (pastoral or not). The Lord should be the one leading the direction of the church, but often times there are people in the church who decide that they know better than God and try to force their own plan on God's church. That never ends well. However, between the beginning of that sinful behavior and the bad ending, there are always casualties. Many times, those casualties are ministers and their families, along with countless church goers who decide that church like that is not what they signed up for.
Our family has just about seen it all. My kids had front row seats to some of the most ungodly behavior in the world... all performed by people that we thought we should be able to trust to do the right thing... church people and staff. They have seen me ridiculed, maligned, and fired. They have also seen the same thing happen to many others. I have to tell you, it takes a toll on our families. People will say things like, "don't take it personally, it's just church business." I'm sorry, but when you see a friend or family member being raked over the coals for something as simple as people bringing coffee in the worship center, or being called a heretic for making a small mistake in a baptism, it's pretty hard NOT to take it personally.
Now, please do not think that all of our ministry years have been bad. Quite the contrary. The Lord has allowed us to be involved in some amazing ministries over the years. We have made so many friends all over the world, and I would not trade them for anything! We have gotten to watch kids grow up, get married, have their own kids, and become ministry leaders themselves. What a great and rewarding thing to see! We count ourselves blessed by all of those we have, and continue to do life with.
The positive experiences have been amazing... but the last few years have taken a heavy toll on our lives, both mentally and spiritually. We watched a church that we loved see God's hand moving, and then watched as some leadership there turn the church away from that movement. Not only that, but doing so in a very hurtful way to our family, in particular. We still have deep friendships with people in that community, but things said about us by staff after we left (along with the way we were sent off when we resigned) stung us, and left us spiritually confused.
We then moved to a church that, from the outside, looked like a perfect fit for us. It was a larger church, pastored by a close friend. A place where we felt we could use what we had learned in years of ministry to take the Gospel to the community we were placed in. We moved to another state, and things were going well, even during the craziness of the Covid shutdown. The Lord was blessing His ministry there, and for the first time in many years, we really felt like God had given us a really solid ministry plan. However, what looked good on the surface soon showed its true colors. Once again, there was someone in the church who decided to put their plan above all else, and the church began to falter. The problems became obvious to many, including the other staff members, but none would stand up to those causing the issues. We had no idea it was happening, but because I did not "buy in" to where this movement was headed, I guess we became "dangerous" people. One Thursday morning, after a great youth service the night before, I was called into the pastors office and forced to resign... with no reason given. The rest of the staff was instructed not to speak to us anymore, and sadly... those that we thought were close friends, heeded that instruction and treated our family like we never existed. That was six months ago.
To say that we were heavily impacted by that action would be an understatement. It hit our family very hard. Not just losing a job. There are lots of jobs. It was the way we were "erased" from memory by those we had given our blood, sweat, and tears to do ministry with. Even the pastor, who I had known for years, followed suit. This was deeply personal, deeply spiritual and a very emotional trauma for us.
Thankfully, there was another church in town that the Lord sent to come along side us. They had a professional counseling center, and when they found out what had happened, allowed our entire family to come to counseling for free for several months. I am so thankful for Broadmoor Baptist Church, and that team of counselors that worked with us. They walked with us through some dark days, but always pointed us toward Jesus. We went to their service the Sunday immediately after losing our position, and their pastor was teaching through a series on the life of Joseph. He is a wonderful teacher, and it was exactly what we needed at that point.
We then interviewed with several churches in different places. Some in Texas, Louisiana, and New Mexico, but none felt right. The truth is, I knew I could do the job at these churches, but my family was so beaten and bruised spiritually and emotionally, I did not feel like it would be fair to them, or the churches for me to wade into another ministry position. We wrestled hard with the question of "What do we do now?" There was no clear answer written in the sky, but we felt led to move back to familiar territory and be closer to our families. So, we sold our house in Shreveport, and moved to Lubbock, TX. Amy's parents live here, and it is only a short distance to my parent's house, so it seemed to be a good fit for us. Plus, we had a lot of ministry and family connections in this area, so searching for a job had more potential than where we had been living.
Through a friend here in Lubbock, Amy was connected with a local school and received a job teaching 6th grade. She's a great teacher, and has been doing that for several years. The big question mark for me was "What in the world do I do after working for a church all these years?" I applied and talked with people in several different job fields, but just never seemed to find the right one. One day, I was out taking care of some business here in town and Amy called me. She asked if I would be interested in teaching history, as they were in need of a middle school teacher. In fact, they asked me to come by the school to interview immediately. I walked in to speak with two of the principals a few minutes later, and got the job on the spot. The crazy thing was that meet the teacher was that night, and I had to be there! Crazy, but exciting at the same time!
In the midst of all that was going on, God opened this new chapter for my life and I never saw it coming. I have to say, that I LOVE teaching school! I teach 6th grade history, and help coach pre-athletics, as 6th graders do not get to have school sports yet. I even get to teach right across the hall from Amy. The team I get to work with every day are some amazing people who really love kids. I honestly feel like I get to do more ministry in a day at school than I got to do in a week working at a church. The need is constant, it's often exhausting, but I love it. We have a group of teachers that meet for prayer each morning before school starts. Sometimes it's a larger group, sometimes it's smaller... but I sure do love that group. We really do go into battle together every day as teachers, and that quick meeting each morning is such a boost.
How long will this chapter last? Well, I would answer that the same way I answered it when people asked how long I would be in youth ministry. The answer is, "Until God tells me to do something else." While this chapter was unexpected, I am thrilled to get to go to work with my wife every day, and continue working with teenagers. I am in the midst of getting my certification done, and look forward to learning to be a good teacher. I have a long way to go, but I'm getting there.
How is the family doing? Well, Meaghan is engaged to be married next summer to a wonderful young man. She is finishing school in Louisiana, very active with the BCM on campus, and gets to sing each week in the college service (sometimes the main service, too) at Broadmoor Baptist in Shreveport. She is thriving and doing well. Meredith is a junior here at a high school in Lubbock, and loves her new school. She is getting settled into a youth ministry here, and making friends there. It has been slow for her, but that makes sense, as this is the first youth ministry she has been a part of that I was not leading. Our church, the Heights Fellowship, has been an absolute God-send for us. Our pastor, Mike Martindale, is a long time friend and offered us a place to land and heal. We have become regular members there, and are also making new friends. I got to play the keyboard in the worship band last week for the first time in months, and that was a nice step for me. We are not in charge of anything at church, and we like it that way for now. Amy and I are still healing. Really, all of us are. Wounds that have occurred over many years do not heal overnight. However, we are seeing God use our weakness in ministry areas we would not have dreamed of on our own. I am cautiously excited about where God is taking us in the days and weeks ahead. I am thrilled to be a part of a church that is focused in the right direction, and to see where God leads there. I hope this was not too long and drawn out. I also hope that maybe you will find encouragement somewhere among all these words. May God bless you all!
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