Well, after the initial "oddness" that I felt after confirming that I was dealing with depression, this week has been an interesting mix of emotions for me. I started on some medication on Tuesday, and it is slowly invading my body. There are times that I can tell that it seems to be helping, and other times that I'm not sure it's there at all. My friends that have been through this tell me that this is normal. I'm just ready to get back to some sense of normal. Then again, since I've been dealing with this for a while, it may be that "normal" is not where I want to be, but a new normal that God will bring. I'm ready for that.
I'm writing this on a particularly tough morning. Satan has fed me a steady stream of nonsense all day. The sad thing is that I didn't feel like fighting it...just didn't have the strength. I know what truth is...and I know what a lie is, and yet I still get caught off-guard by the enemy, which is Satan. He tells me that I'm alone...that life will never be normal again... Obvious lies...but why do I even entertain them in my mind? Then I am reminded again...that I am mortal...that I don't have it all together, and need help. I am so thankful for friends who will remind me of that, and point me towards Jesus. One of those amazing friends sent me these scriptures this morning:
"Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see" (2 Kings 6:17)
"Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." (Psalm 43:5)
I thank you for letting me candid here...for being supportive. For some reason, putting this into written form seems to be good therapy for me. I thank you for so many of you who have shared your stories with me. It has been amazing to see.